I hurt myself because I’d never hurt you
I hurt myself because I’d never hurt you
I hurt myself until I’m black and I’m blue
Because God knows there must be a vessel
for all this violence to pass through
I watched oil in the water, all-enveloping black
It mushroomed downward like a chemical attack
You let it swallow you whole, lay you out on your back
And I silently did what you asked of me;
stood by at a distance until I started to crack
They’ll call it hereditary, how it rose from within
Turning brother on sister like some biblical sin
Each one the persecutor, every one a victim
No hope for the rescuer,
no chance for work to begin
Just get through the night, me & baby blue
She tells me she misses her, I say “I do”
But she’ll be home tomorrow, I can’t come too
I stand wait outside like the banished son
who can say anything but can’t speak the truth
Baby’s smarter than you, she’s smarter than me
She already intuits what we hold beneath
Sweet mercy she’s better than we’ll ever be
Why I’ll never have to tell her;
’cause you know that she’ll see
Yes there’s still long nights with the gun to my head
Stuck on what I could or shouldn’t have said
But I breathe it out, lock in and instead
Remember there’d be no one left to protect her;
if my sorry heart and soul were still and dead
Because she needs me
She needs me
And as hard as I try
Lord, I need her too
But she needs me
She needs me
And despite what they say
It’s her alone who does
