Shard#2: Turning 30, Nearly 2

Cal W. Stannard
3 min readAug 15, 2021
www.instagram.com/calwst

Now everything’s good, and everything’s bad
Both the fire and the phoenix for the life we had

Who were those young lovers, rushed solemn to the ward?
Clinging to hope and each other for such sweet reward
The first days back home we were sculpted in marble
Nothing to do but care and stand back to marvel
But those songs we played to lift us don’t hit like before
So we keep singing lullabies to carry us forward

Thought by now we’d have the world ready for you
Now I’m turning thirty, and you’re nearly two

When I gaze at your face I see my own
And think of the things I wish that I’d known
Is it better to guide, or let you find your way through?
Could you really need us more than we need you?
Will you share mama’s heavy heart and emotional range?
Or be tossed to and fro like me by the rough winds of change?

The weight of our history, and our futures too
Now I’m turning thirty, and you’re nearly two

I was lost for ten years once I became a man
It was only when you came to us my heart began to plan
To turn the wild tide forever on generations of hurt
To clear the way afresh for your bright bulb in the dirt
I’ll put the storm-fronts up myself, shield you from the rain
Recycle my body in earnest just to be useful again

There’s still so much work that I’ll diligently do
Now I’m turning thirty, and you’re nearly two

Do we have on earth already, all we need to change course?
Will we wait til the last moment, for our hands to be forced?
Will you be among them, standing tall at the stern?
Stars boring down, witness to your every turn?
Did we bring you here; just another soul to save?
Or will you be leading them, strong, alone and brave?

Enough to make an earthly man send prayers to the blue
Now I’m turning thirty, and you’re nearly two

Til then, this quiet place protects us for now
Though violence will sometimes still twitch at my brow
Each morning I pray it stays far from our door
As I watch dandelions drift soft to the moor
Maybe it’s the world, or maybe it’s just me
But I don’t want anything anymore except us three

Just Mama, and Daddy and Roma Roo
Now I’m turning thirty, and you’re nearly two

“With 30 approaching I decided I should start actually ‘publishing’ the scraps and shards of stuff I’ve been writing over the last couple years rather than hoarding and picking over them for eternity. They’re not all fully formed but I think it will encourage me to be a bit more intentional about continuing if I have an audience (ain’t that always been the truth)”

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Cal W. Stannard

I write short stories, lyrics without songs, talk about music and mental health and share photography. “I speak that ugly elegant”